


The Persistence of Memory

by oneill



Category: Karneval
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-05
Updated: 2013-09-05
Packaged: 2017-12-25 16:05:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/955087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oneill/pseuds/oneill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the fic_promptly prompt: Karneval, Yogi and Tsukumo, <i>Can you remember how you lived before? / Was there a time in your life without a war?</i> (Free Energy - Young Hearts)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Persistence of Memory

As Yogi helped Tsukumo to lace up her costume, a frisson of déjà vu shot through him, and his fingers froze on the ribbon at her throat. He had done this before, for another girl he had cherished more than his own life. He felt certain of that. So then why . . . ?

"Yogi?" Tsukumo said, catching his eyes in the brightly lit mirror. "What's wrong?"

Yogi shook his head, smiled as best he could. "It's nothing, Tsukumo-chan!" He whipped the ribbon into a deft bow and settled his hands on her shoulders, his chin on her head. "There! So lovely!"

"Yogi." Tsukumo brought one hand up to cover his, her reflected gaze unwavering.

Yogi found he couldn't meet it any longer. His fingers worried at the silk camellia that adorned her left shoulder until he finally had to say, "Do you ever think about it? About life before . . . before Circus."

Slender fingers tightened around his.

"I try not to," Tsukumo said.

Yogi nodded. Jiki and Kiichi had said basically the same thing. Why was _he_ the only one who couldn't let it go?

Maybe memory just worked that way. Maybe those who still remembered tried their hardest to forget, just as those who had forgotten tried their hardest to remember.

Tsukumo said, "Do you regret joining?"

"No."

Yogi felt pretty sure about that. He had so much--both aboard the Second Ship and down here on the ground. Visiting places that most people could only see on a screen, or read about in a book (if they were allowed to learn about them at all). Winning laughs and adoring smiles from children all around the country. Meeting Tsukumo and Eva and Gareki and Nai and all the others. What right did he have to complain, when he couldn't even remember what he had left behind?

"I just wonder sometimes," he said, "what it would be like to live in one place. To not have to fight."

"Sometimes the fighting happens anyway," Tsukumo said gently, "and you just aren't strong enough to have any effect on it. Sometimes you lose that one place."

Yogi thought back to all the bodies left broken and lifeless after a Valga had swept through their hometown. To the broken, lifeless bodies of the Valga he had laid to rest. To Gareki, full of frustration at his own weakness. To Tsubame, weeping and begging to join her brother.

"You're right, Tsukumo-chan. Sorry."

Tsukumo turned around then, took one of his hands in both of her own and pressed his knuckles to her cheek. "I'm not saying _you're_ wrong, Yogi."


End file.
